a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
