I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
