Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
