i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
