oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Vodka?
Forever.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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