oh god the rape fog is back!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
