I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
