kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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