Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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