so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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