The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
