do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
