its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
