This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
