He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
