I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
3 2 1 whiskey
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
