Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
