Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
