that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize