Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
