So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
