Me. At least after what I've been through.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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