Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
