I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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