This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize