it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
