Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
