Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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