I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
