The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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