Sponge bath it is.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
