GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
