i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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