The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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