My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize