So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
