The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
