At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
