I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
