just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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