i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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