Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize