This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
