Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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