He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
