all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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