A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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