didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
