Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you win again, gameday.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize