:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
