The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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