just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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