well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
