I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
