Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
