This girl is more easily done than said...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all donβt mix
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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