Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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