Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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