with your own penis?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
