everyone is single if you try hard enough
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Four minutes until I can fart!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
