Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
