You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
