what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
